Whod you bang
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
