i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
