There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
