My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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