did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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