roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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