If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
no, he came in my armpit
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
