we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
