i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
