Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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