I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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