Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
