My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
