please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
