Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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