The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Enjoy the penises
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
