I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
