my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
