How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
