Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
