Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Randomize
