After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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