Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
