I'm going to jail i love you
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize