I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
