He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
