you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
