Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
