you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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