If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
