i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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