It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
