It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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