just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize