Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
