I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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