i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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