This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
