capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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