addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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