haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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