well most of my day revolves around power hour
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
