just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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