Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
