You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
MIDGETS
????
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
