Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
