I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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