Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
