We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
