pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
