somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
