Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
