she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
