the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
