Too much gin, very little bucket
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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