You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Randomize