i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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