There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Do vagina's smell?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
