no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
