if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
