dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
