I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
