He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Then you guys just all showered together...?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
