I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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