Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
