chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Someone came in the potted fern
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
