I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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