If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
