Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
