can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize