Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
