no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
