I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
